Makom Torah is a state of the mind, not a city on the map.

The Mishna in Avos tells a story that should, on it’s surface, trouble any out-of-towner:

“Said Rabbi Yossei the son of Kisma: Once, I was traveling and I encountered a man. He greeted me and I returned his greetings. Said he to me: “Rabbi, where are you from?” Said I to him: “From a great city of sages and scholars, am I.” Said he to me: “Rabbi, would you like to dwell with us in our place? I will give you a million dinars of gold, precious stones and pearls.” Said I to him: “If you were to give me all the silver, gold, precious stones and pearls in the world, I would not dwell anywhere but in a place of Torah. Indeed, so is written in the book of psalms by David the king of Israel: `I prefer the Torah of Your mouth over thousands in gold and silver’ (Psalms 118:72).

The same story is told of Elijah the Prophet in the Tanna D’vei Eliyahu.

Abravanel explains that Rav Yosi ben Kisma’s road was the pathway of life. The Man who tried to change him was not a person but a culture, an establishment and a set of arbitrary rules. Rav Yosi told the man to let him Be: “I will remain rooted forever”, he said “in a Place of Torah”.

I’m too young to really know much about The Man , but Rav Yosi ben Kisma was not. The Man offered Rav Yosi the gold and silver of the world but Rav Yosi stood up to him, “Keep your trinkets”, he said, “I’ve got the Torah and it is my strength and guide!”

We are all guaranteed to meet Reb Yosi ben Kisma’s Man at some point in life. The Man will try to entice us and we must reject him. We need to keep our Roots in Torah. Rav Yosi Ben Kisma, Eliyahu Hanavi and all of our great leaders met The Man and rejected him out of hand.

Even Torah Jews living in Torah cities need to deal with the Man. All Jews need to examine their decisions (even religious ones) and determine whether they are rooted in a Place of Torah or in the society around them.

Here is one unpopular, but very true, example of the Man getting his way:

According to Halacha a married woman should cover her hair, preferably with a hat or scarf. As a ‘second-best’ option she may add a ‘fall’ with false hair coming out of her hat. If a woman is uncomfortable with either of the above she may dispense with the hat altogether and use only a wig. (Igros Moshe EH 2:12)

A look at societal norms in many large (non-Chasidic) communities reveals a trend that directly counters this Halachic hierarchy: Religious women wear hats, really religious ones wear hats with falls, and really, really, ultra-super-religious women would not think of wearing anything other than a sheitel.

Without belittling our in-town cousins, it is instructive to observe that these large-town attitudes are primarily rooted in Social realities and not in Halacha.
Rav Aharon Shechter, Rosh Yeshiva of Chaim Berlin once asked me if I felt like I was up to the challenges of out-of-town living. I told him that as a point of fact, I found in-town living to be the greater challenge, and the one that I might not be able to handle.

I explained that I need the latitude to base my actions on halacha and not be restricted by the pressure of societal norms. Personally, I prefer not to deal with the challenges of arbitrary rules that are dictated by the frum community but have no basis in halacha.

Rav Aharon asked for a f’rinstance and I gave him my Hat-Fall-Sheitel illustration. He wouldn’t agree or disagree, but he did recommend that I stay in Norfolk.

So, if you are out of town, take advantage of your location. Base you decisions on what the Torah says without worrying about how they act in the big city. And if you do live in the big city, consider this: Are your actions really rooted in a Place of Torah (Like Reb Yosi ben Kisma) or are they based on the societal, economic, and political standards of the people around you?

Note: This is the second installment in a trilogy on Makom Torah. The first essay can be found here.