Open-mindedness. We cannot just try once. If one style doesn’t work, another approach might. In dealing with others, we need to remember that just as no two faces are identical, no two minds are exactly the same either.

My Shabbos table may be perfect for me, but somebody else might have different needs.

My friend Sid made a siyum this morning in honor of his father Allen Bridge, whose Yahrzheit is today. Here is a story Sid wrote about his father on his blog (norfolk-stories.livejournal.com):

The Uncomfortable Guest
By Sid Bridge

It was Friday night at B’nai Israel Congregation. My mother was busy back at our Shabbos apartment preparing dinner for our family, a friend, and a guest of his. The guest arrived at the synagogue and quickly realized no one had told him how to dress. He was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. The poor guy spent the whole service sweating bullets because everyone around him was wearing suits and ties.

My father, of course, always dressed a cut above everyone at the Synagogue. He would go out of his way to make sure his cravat was perfectly tucked into his pocket, his tie was just right, and his shirt (usually some color other than white) worked in concert with his entire ensemble. His sense of style went beyond synagogue and even beyond mafioso.

Our guest kept talking about how uncomfortable he was as he walked with my father and I back to the apartment. We all felt a little bad for him, to say the least.

As usual, a beautifully set Shabbos table was waiting for us at the apartment, all ready for my father to sit down and make Kiddush. Before he could sit, he excused himself to the bedroom and assured us he’d be right back.

In a move that was no doubt painful for my father, he emerged in a casual shirt and shorts, sat down at the table, and said, “I’m ready to make Kiddush.”

From that moment on, our guest’s mood changed. He immediately got comfortable and enjoyed a wonderful meal with us.