When Yaacov first met Rachel at the well and proposed to her, she warned him that it wouldn’t be so easy. She explained that her father was not an honest man. He would try to take advantage of Yaacov’s straightforward nature and make his life miserable. 

Yaacov told her not to worry. He had grown up with a dishonest brother. He could handle it. 

This conversation should give us pause. It is true that Rachel’s father was dishonest and that Eisav was dishonest as well, but is it true that Yaacov was able to handle it?

As far as we can tell, Yaacov was a constant victim to Eisav’s hypocrisy. He did manage to buy the Birthright, but Eisav didn’t even respect that sale. It was only with his mother’s encouragement, assistance, and advice that Yaacov was able to get the brachos that were rightfully his.

Of course, we are proud to have a grandfather who was not good at trickery, but how could he claim to have “handled” Eisav. The very fact that Yaacov was here at the well meeting Rachel was because he, at the age of sixty-three, had been forced to flee his own home to escape Eisav. He had no gifts for Rachel because Eisav had sent his grandson to take them.

Indeed, Yaacov didn’t do very well with Lavan either. He was tricked into marrying the wrong sister after seven years of hard work. He was tricked into giving up his salary ten times before he finally just picked up and left. 

We are proud of Yaacov. But what is the meaning of “I can handle people like Eisav and Lavan”?

Perhaps the answer is very simple. It is hard to live in a world where people are trying to lie to you and rip you off. At best we become jaded and callous; at worst we become crooks ourselves. Perhaps Rachel was warning Yaacov that he might become a different person if he hangs out in Lavan’s house. He might stop being Yaacov. He might even become Lavan.

To this, Yaacov had an answer. He had spent all his life with Eisav yet Eisav had not made him bitter. Despite all of his challenges, Yaacov remained Yaacov. He could survive Lavan as well.

As a matter of fact, the first thing Yaacov did when he came to Lavan’s house was to give him a full month of free labor. The best defense is a strong offense. Lavan couldn’t deal with the fact that Yaacov was doing him a favor and not trying to take advantage of him. 

As the years went on, Yaacov was extremely honest. He worked night and day, in heat and in intense cold. That was his way of dealing with Lavan. Because when it was all over he could go to Eisav and say – see, I lived with Lavan and I still kept the Mitzvos. You won’t get me to change. 

That is how Yaacov wins every time.